The Full Story
I am a New Jersey native, born and raised by two imperfect Puerto Rican parents, who like all parents, had no idea what they were doing while raising all 5 children. Yes, I am number 3 of 5, the middle child, the loner but certainly not a rebel. We all had our stories and experiences of growing up. So I will tell you my story. I was born on May 25, 1971 in Passaic, NJ. My parents were Anibal Perez (deceased) and living is my beautiful mother, Agustina Perez. Dad was a man of few words, angry and serious, but showed us he loved us by his actions, and mom was the disciplinarian, organizer, cook, planner, and sergeant. You can say she ran a tight ship. We grew up with words like fuete (whooping), chancletaso (getting hit with a sandal), espera que venga to pai' (wait til your father gets home), cocotaso (a knuckle to the head), bofeta ( a physical beating), madre de los tomates (mother of the tomatoes), revolu (chaos), cogelo con take it easy (take it easy), and other great words that we grew up on. Our culture is unique, in food, dance, and dialect, Spanglish.
I share all this so you can see that we all have different ethnic backgrounds, but in my day and age there was order. Whether dad or mom ruled the home, there was some type of order, called disorder. In my day, moms ruled the roost, while dad worked. Mom took care of business and worked, while dad worked and took care of the landscaping and the structure of the house. As distorted as our household was with yelling in anger and kids hitting each other in frustration or calling each other names, we loved each other in our own way.
I carried baggage from my past and I blamed it on my upbringing; the way my parents disciplined me, or the way I was abandoned, molested, not protected, mentally and verbally abused throughout different seasons in my life. I blamed my ex, old friends, children, bosses, and other relationships for my traumas and mishaps and I became a victim of my past experiences. I waited for years on the apology, the return of a loved one, the answers to my why, that never came and I stayed stuck in my unhealthy patterns of complaining, arguing, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, self-pity, and negativity. I was angry at God, my parents, my children, my ex-husband and anyone who tried to help me. I did that for years and exhausted people with my nuances, until I realised that there were some things that happened to me that I could not control due to my age and then there were choices I made from my past experiences that I did not take responsibility for and blamed everyone else for my poor decisions. It was my faith in Jesus Christ that broke the chains that bound me to a miserable life. I was on the verge of dying from Lupus, an autoimmune disease rooted in self hatred, but I decided to give up what I knew about just getting by, for the life God created for me.
I invite you to journey with me toward your healing and restoration from your past experiences. I want to see you free from your bondage and working toward your goals. I want to see you live an abundant life. But first you must want to give up what you hold onto so tightly, to receive the gift of freedom.
My name is Aileen Noall and I am outgoing, vibrant, enthusiastic, God fearing woman who enjoys every aspect of my life. I love to read, write and travel. My pass time is cooking and enjoying my marriage. Life is certainly beautiful when you carry nothing but love in your heart.